This was written by
Emily Perl Kingsley:
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a
disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique
experience - to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like
this......
Welcome To Holland
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous
vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your
wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The
gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.
It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your
bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess
comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for
Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of
going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland
and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting,
filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a
different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new
language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never
have met.
It’s just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy
than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your
breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has
windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all
bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of
your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's
what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...
because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get
to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things
... about Holland.
Welcome To Holland
by
Emily Perl Kingsley
©1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. Reprinted by
permission of the author.
