OUR LITTLE ANGEL

Aiden.  He is beautiful.  He is perfect.  He is wonderful.  He is missing his ulna in his right arm.  He has only one finger on his right hand.  He can do anything anybody else can do, he just does it differently.  He is inventive.  He is creative.

Aiden’s difference is congenital and probably genetic.  My husband Michael was born missing his tibia in his right leg.  At the time we decided to have kids, we thought Michael’s leg difference was a result of the environment.  At no point did we believe it was or could be genetic.  Because of Michael’s leg, when we reviewed our ultra-sound, we specifically asked about our baby’s legs and verified that Aiden had all his fingers and toes.   We were told “All is OK.  You have a ‘perfect’ baby”.  

What was supposed to be such a joyous occasion, the birth of our fist baby, ended up being confusing and muddled.  Our Dr. had zero tact.  With Aiden in his hands he joyously announced he was a boy.  Then he announced – in a panicked voice – “there’s a problem with his right arm – it is deformed – he only has one finger on his right hand!!” Unprofessionally, he shoved Aiden into Michael’s face!  The nurses immediately took Aiden away from the Dr. and started caring for him.  Michael turned to me and said calmly, “there’s something wrong with Aiden’s arm, but he’s OK”.  Shocked, was my only feeling.  I was in shock – physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I felt like I was spinning, yet my heart and stomach were sinking… just sinking.  I looked at Michael (who could see Aiden).  He reassured me again that everything was OK.  He smiled and said Aiden was just beautiful.  From what I could see Aiden was adorable, a new spirit we brought into this world.  When I looked deep in Michael’s eyes, I couldn’t help seeing worry and confusion.   Deep down inside, I knew what Michael was thinking...did I do this to Aiden?  I know…because I was wondering if the asthma medicine I took might have caused this.  Our own internal blaming had already started.  What did we do mentally and physically to allow this to happen to our baby.  How were we going to tell our family, our friends?  Would they understand? Would they think he’s beautiful and would they love him as much as us? 

Being our first, we had no idea the love you could feel for a child.  No one could have ever conveyed that love to us.  As we were experiencing the ‘normal’ new parent worries and fears, we were also feeling shock, hurt, guilt, and lost dreams.  The questions were constant…Why us?  Why Aiden?  What lessons are there to be learned?  What would strangers say, would they just stare?  Kids will be mean to him, how will we react as parents?   Our thoughts and emotions were overwhelming, but our love for Aiden simply dominated. 

We used to feel short pangs of emotion now and then when we see other children at the beach or on the playground.  We used to wonder how he is going to tie a shoe, pull up a zipper, cut food with a knife, or play an instrument.  I can tell you now, that time does heal and with a positive outlook anything is possible.  We never wonder for long what Aiden is capable of…everyday we see him succeed with new activities.  He has shown us that he knows no different.  He is not any different than other children, who want to learn, play, run and giggle with their friends.  To this day he has accomplished everything he has set his mind to!  I foresee that attitude and persistence going forward in life with everything he does.  What lessons we can learn from him!

Aiden is a true blessing in our lives.  We have met wonderful people (whom we would have never met).  We have been able to positively touch people who are going through the same experience (or the range of emotions one feels when they have suffered a loss).  Sure, there will be more questions and worries.  There will be tough times as Aiden gets older, as with any child.  We may hurt as individuals and as a family, but like any normal family; the love we share and the support we receive will give us the power to overcome any obstacle!

           If you would like to send an email to Aiden or his parents with any questions or comments, you may do so by clicking here.